Can you say "Purpleheart Wood Bumpers?"

While I was out in Seattle visiting the family, I made a pair of purpleheart wood bumpers with my pa in our friend, Steve Habersetzer's, shop. Steve could probably be called a master craftsmen (though he certainly would not use the title), and along with being one of the old guard of Luddite back-to-the-earth hippies who settled Eastern Washington State in the seventies (where I was born in a tepee) he also makes amazing cabinets and gorgeously usable Gypsy Wagons (which sell for forty to sixty grand). While staying with pops, I got to sleep in Steve's original Caravan, the one Steve lived in for decades. It was tantalizingly delicious, every timber and corner carefully constructed... and it was beautifully parked in Steve's lush organic garden, where he makes enough off the food he grows to feed himself year round. It was a retreat in and of itself, but on to the bumpers.

It all started when my dad asked if I could believe the price woodworkers get on purpleheart wood, and did I have any use for any? I thought about it, and have never really like the crappy tinny bumpers on my VW Beetle, kinda makes me think of the addage "bumpers take about as many bumps as glove boxes have gloves in them." So, thinking back to my parents '71 Volkswagen van that we lived in while traveling the country for the first few years of my life, and the wooden 4 & 4 oak rear bumper on there we used to keep the propane tank on, well, I thought wooden purpleheart wood bumpers would be nice, and awfully Steampunky to boot!

Luckily for me, I flew Southwest, who reduced their baggage from three seventy-five pound bags to two fifty pound bags. So going out there I hoped I would have enough weight allowance to check the buggers on the way back. Getting out there, we went to Eden Saw (who has these amazing wood cards) and found some wood we liked, an eleven foot two by six. Back at Steve's shop, well, it is not everyday you get to cut into eleven feet of purpleheart wood, ah what an experience.

But I get ahead of myself. When I first arrived, Steve was rather busy with a delivery he needed to make the next day, and suggested he could help me out on my project if I could help him deliver his cabinets in the '54 truck he completely restored himself. So I agreed, and got the adventure of riding around is his old truck. It turned out to be well worth the trade, as he had excellent ideas regarding how to make the bumpers wrap around my Beetle like the originals. When I asked him if he thought they would be strong enough as bumpers, he said my Beetle would break before the purpleheart wood bumpers would break.

It was really good to get into a wood shop again, before taking up IT (and gaining a few pounds) I used to be a finished carpenter with my pa. I still knew how to use all the tools, and even still felt right at home in my pa's tool bag, being able to tell a story about most of the tools in it.

After two days, we got all of the pieces cut - Steve doing the trickiest and most dangerous cuts - and fitted with holes drilled for the bolts. The nice thing about our construction was that it was all collapsible, so I really could check it coming back, and both bumper even weighed in just under 50 pounds.

Over the forth of July weekend we got the bumpers sanded, the holes notched for the carriage bolts, the top corner routed, and they look, well, fantastic! Now I just have to glue them (this is mainly to keep unwanted debris or water that can freeze, out), and finish them. Purpleheart wood is, like the name implies, purple, but it fades with time. There is some discussion about if this is oxidation or UV rays, but in either case a good finish, well although it won't stop the gradual fade to gray / brown, it will prolong it. I went to our local Woodcraft to pick of some Arm-o-Seal, something recommended online for purpleheart wood, but it does not mention UV rays. When I walked in, the nice wood worker there asked if he could help me, and I asked what he would put on purple heart wood that was going outsidee to keep it purple. He said "Armor All," and I said "Arm-o-Seal?" and he said no, "Armor All." I asked where to get that and he said auto stores, and I said, "like Armor All? The stuff you put on... your cars interior.... to... protect... it... from the sun. Gatcha!"

It has been a lovely walk down memory lane, and the bumpers really must be seen to be believed...
Keeping it lit,
PyroCelt

PS, I am looking for an old, preferable antique-though-in-great-usable-condition, croze tool which is used for coopering. This is how they cut the groove inside a barrel that the bottom rests in. When I mentioned to my dad that I see a lot of old not too expensive tools in antique shops, he said "oh, that is in the South, they would have lots of great tools there, you should get them." Then I asked Steve if there was anything unusual he was looking for, and we said a croze tool.